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We have a young child and have had gone through the same thing each of the four years. But for you this holiday exposes an ugly crack in the foundation of your relationship that must be addressed.
She is the birth mother, but how do I explain to my wife that I want the special day, too? One year it was so bad that when the restaurant offered each of us a free dessert with dinner, she claimed mine and asked for it in a to-go box.
We’ve been raised on fairy tales of evil step-mothers versus benign fairy godmothers; celebrity mums with unbrushed hair are jeered at as slatternly losers and we all long to be the woman in the washing powder adverts, so beautiful, slender and calm that when her baby smears pureed mango all over her new coat, she smiles adoringly, rather than kicking the sh** out of the fridge door.
So don’t you dare say that being a mum can be dull.
By now, we’ve had two thousand years of the most ubiquitous yet most powerless mother in the Virgin Mary (she wasn’t even allowed the human luxury of sex).
No matter where we turned, there were still state lines to cross and bags to pack and extensive plans to make whenever we wanted to see anyone in our extended families.
Once we had our baby, however, those lines felt longer, those bags heavier, and those plans a bit more punishing.
It is mandatory to enjoy motherhood at all times, especially when you are in the presence of your impressionable kids. It is frankly unnatural to question such rewarding pleasures.
Mother's Day: Each Mother's Day I am expected to prepare and serve a special breakfast, plan and pay for an activity centered around what "mom" enjoys, and provide cards and gifts for my wife. A: I think Mother's Day is mostly a manufactured forced-march (and as I made dinner last night, I found how much my husband agrees with this) and is best downplayed.
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